REAL TALK

so today is my half birthday.
goodness who over the age of seven still thinks about their half birthday.
just me....
great.
I never seemed to forget mine because it only comes every 4 years.
on leap day.
I remember as a child being a little bummed that I didn't have a half birthday.
You see in elementary school we celebrated our birthdays in class.
But if you were born in the summer the class would celebrate your half birthday.
the teacher would give you a goodie bag and parents would bake cupcakes and cookies.
I'd always get worried and think they would just skip over mine because there wasn't always a feb. 29.
It did happen once.
haha.
I was one of those shy little girls who didn't say anything though.

Anyways let me get off of this silly little tangent.
Back to me being 6 months from turning 22.
It made me think about how my little plan for my life is not entirely in my control.

Pretty much my whole life I told myself I'd be married by the time I was 22.
I know it sounds weird.
Some may think Why 22?
Well that's how old my mother was when she wed my father.
So since I was around five or six I just assumed I'd do the same.
In all honesty it wasn't til I was around fifteen or sixteen that I realized that probably wouldn't happen.
Even then I secretly dreamed it would.
I know I sound loony.
But that's really the way I thought.
Upon realizing that I was going to be 22 in just six short months. I started to get pretty upset.
Here I am a 21 year old young woman who has never had a love interest in my life....

Sometimes that makes me sad.
I mean like really sad.
It wasn't easy being a teenage girl watching all your friends dating.
And oh boy am I a hopeless romantic.
I'd get so frustrated and think will I ever meet someone...?
It was hard but I have come a long way from that.
I've learned to be grateful that I have never had to deal with painful broken heart.
I'm not sure my teenage heart would have been able to handle something like that.

I need to constantly remind myself that God is in control. He loves me and HE wants the best for me.
O how that calms my heart. The creator of the universe has a plan for me.

As much as I wanted to get married real young that just might not be his plan for me.

I need to learn to be okay with that.

I know that as long as I have him in my life everything will be okay.

I just need to live my life wholeheartedly believing it.

It's strange deep down in my heart I know that it is the truth but I let my dumb emotions cloud my mind. It makes things fuzzy.

So my prayer is that my emotions don't get in the way of me any my savior.

I usually post these serious blogs to a private blog because it can be hard to be really open. It makes you so vulnerable but I thought maybe one person could be encouraged by my words.


Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight

xo
-esther

Friday

Fridays are great.
fantastic.
I get to sleep in!
But not too late cause I like to go to the thrift store in the morn.
yesterday on my little thrift trip I found some goodies

I love finding treasures in a piles of junk.
Such a good feeling it is.
I'm going to need a storage unit for all the lovelies I find.

After thrifting I picked up Jessi from school and we went out for lunch. Delicious thai food.
Then we went home and broke up and packaged the rosemary almond toffee I had made earlier in the day.

After we went to Jessi's house and I sat in the sun light while my little cousin snapped some pictures of me. He loves taking pictures with my camera. A little photographer in the making.

love the way the sun feels on my face on a cool day.

night
xo
-esther

HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY MAMA

today we celebrated my dear Mother's Birthday.

I finally got to give her the birthday quilt I made her. She loved it. I will most definitely be posting pictures of it soon. I just haven't got around to snapping some yet. It turned out lovely.

Well I am still hard at work on my seasonal fruit project at school. I better get to bed so that I will be ready to make my dessert tomorrow Im planning on making orange pound cake with honey ginger ice cream and candied oranges. I still need to think of another component. Hmmm.... I just can't think of anything.

night
xo
-es

I've got it bad

I seems to always have Europe on my mind
specifically England.
more like London to be exact
Never in my life have I been so infatuated with one place.
The things I would do to experience what I did when I was there.
I want to go back.
I will go back if the Lord permits it.
The truth is I fell in love with that pretty city.
And when you fall in love with something
you can't get it off your mind
you want tell everybody about it.
you dream about it
you reminisce about it
and you miss it when your not with it.
really really really miss it!


This probably sounds so cheesy and lame but this is the way I've felt ever since I came back from my European adventures.

I desperately want to see the world. I have HUGE dreams. I know they may not come true but I try to live life believing they will. Daydreaming makes me happy. Really really happy.

My God is amazing. I mean really amazing. I just reread this post and it made me realize how quickly he made my dream of going to Italy come true. I wrote that post a little less then eight months before I went to Rome.

I have been praying for many travels since I was a child. He heard and answered.
I will continue to pray and ask the Lord for a way to experience living in England in my young age. Until then I hope I can remember to always thank him for the wonderful experiences he kindly gave me.

And perhaps to tame my ambitious traveling heart I will have to take some smaller more doable trips across the Continental US. Lately the beautiful redwoods have been on my mind. O how I love them. Northern California road trip anyone? How about the east coast. New England? I had so much fun with the family when we were there last summer but we just didn't get to see enough. So much history. It would take ages to see all the historical sites.

Well I better get to bed. I have a tricky little assignment tomorrow. I'll try to post some photos of the dishes I make.
Night
xo
-esther

perspective

I was feeling a bit crumby earlier.
I was just a whole mess of emotions.
anyways I sat on the floor to work on a sewing project and was reminded yet again that I am so blessed.
looking up and seeing all the belongings God has provided me with.
Oh my.
I mean really?
Really?
So much. So very much.
I wanted to cry.
because sometimes we sit there and complain
when really our minds often can't even grasp how good we have it.
It's mind blowing.
Sitting in my room seeing my messy unmade bed and my sewing machine and feeling the sweet sunlight on my skin opened my eyes.

I pray I never take my blessings for granted and I use them to the best of my ability to bring glory to the one who has given them to me.

night
xo
esther

argh

im tired...
so tired...
school is frustrating me.
I mean really really making me mad.
Not one thing my group made this week turned out.
it was a disaster
a big giant disaster
absolutely embarassing.

You see I am a perfectionist.
and when something doesn't look perfect
I get really upset.
It's something I need to work on.
I don't need to have all this negativity in my life.
It's okay to mess up a few times.
but I really need to monitor how I react to frustrating situations

I learning I prefer working on my own.
I like to be in control of everything

well enough about that.
next week will be a fresh start.

tomorrow is Friday
no school
woohoo
Friday means
sleeping in
sewing
baking
thrifting
and
relaxing.

Can't wait.

night
xo
-esther

escuela

school is in session and I'm a bit overwhelmed.
I just have to get back into the swing of things.
new schedules can be a bit tricky.
I'm readjusting.
waking up early is probably the hardest part.
I make my body spring out of bed the second my alarm goes off because If I don't I quickly drift back to sleep.
It just always seems to happen.
Then I go into a panic cause I'm going to be late.

Currently I'm learning how to make all sorts of fancy plated desserts.
Last week we made
primevera apple tart
grapefruit curd tart
Tahitian tart
chocolate tart
rustic apple tart

the picture isn't the best. It was taken with my phone...
This week we will working on delicious buttery puff pastry dough.
Please pray I have energy to do a good job at LATTC, work, and photo school.

night
xo
-esther

buckle down

It's time to start school again...

no more free time.
Im going to be quite the busy bee.
LATTC in the morning
work after
and classes at TRI til 10 pm
eeks.

At least ill only be doing that 3 days a week.
I think I can handle it.

pray for me please.

I better get ready for bed.
waking up at 5 in the morning is certainly not easy for me.

night
xo
-esther

Cafe Pinot

Went to eat in downtown with some dear friends I met when I went to Cal Poly Pomona. It was lovely getting to eat and chat with them. We enjoyed a delicious three course meal.

The olive bread was fantastic. I ate way too much of it.


After lunch we went to Bottega Louie for more dessert. Eeeks. I love that place. I reminds me of all the pretty patisseries in Europe.




So many BEAUTIFUL desserts.

Such a lovely day.
night
xo
-esther

video

Bartle from Esther Carrera on Vimeo.

Just a little recap of my wonderful time with the Bartles.
not the greatest video but it's a perfect way to remember my time there.

LACMA

A couple weeks ago Lysie invited me and the sister to LACMA with her and Daniel

O how I dream of having an air streamer one day. swoon.

There was a great deal of interesting things to see. My favorite exhibit was full of fifties and sixties decor and clothing.
We didn't get to see everything. I would love to back and wander the museum.

night
xo
-es